KRISS - the beautfiul ones;

2009-06-12T23:08:00.000-07:00

Vulnerable

I like times when we talk about the past, when you tell me about how you still keep everything I've given you, when you tell me how you feel when you read my letters. I like it when we reminisce about our favourite songs, the places we went together and the things we did and would do together. I like times where we talk about things we wouldn't say to anyone, and update each other on bits of stories we missed out. I like it when we are okay, when I can tell my friends about how wonderful and bittersweet you are, when I say I love you & when you say you love me back.

But sticks and stones may break my bones while your words can kill.

Are we really just two puzzle pieces which look conjoining that will never fit no matter how hard we try?

2009-06-04T22:59:00.000-07:00

Take a bow

Things change. People change. I guess I have to accept that in this situation, because no matter how hard and how many times I try to convince myself that you are still who you were back then, I am going to end up disappointed and hurt like fuck like how I am now because you just aren't the same anymore.

You've taught me something, that there is no one in this world I should love more than I love myself, because once I step into that boundary, like the way I'm always putting you infront of everyone else, I am just going to be treated the way you treat me. As if I owe you a living. As if I have to give in all the time. As if I was born to submit to you.

I thought you were different. I thought we were different. I thought after everything we've been through, nothing in this world could ever come between us again. I thought you would at the very least, consider my feelings.

2008-12-30T20:02:00.001-08:00

Its good to be back. Back to where I came from; back to my same old routines; back to familiarity.
A new year is around the corner. And pple arnd me are celebrating, inviting the inevitable - change.

Change is awaiting. Waiting at my doorstep; always ready to pounce on me when I'm least ready.

I'm not ready.

I dont think I ever will be ready. Will I? Need some assurance. I'm one of those asses who hate change, who avoid them. I shld rlly be embracing change; to look forward to the future.
But I don't. It's the same thing every end of the year.

Time and experience has taught me to fear change. The next year always brings about more pain, more complications that always seem to be too much for me to handle.
But then, with the help of my friends, I emerge victorious. I get through all the shit that happens every year, and now at this time - a new year is starting.

I feel so tired, so exhausted from the year's battle. Yet life is ready to throw at me another round of battles, each ones tougher than the last.

It's those kind of scenarios where, you're totally aware that smth bad's gna happen. Smth horrible, sad, tragic...you try to mentally prepare for it. But when it comes, you're still so unprepared. You're still shocked, still scared.

Worst part of it is - it's totally unavoidable.

2008-12-27T07:42:00.000-08:00

Thank god i finally gained access to the internet.
It's pretty cold here in Tokyo. I've been having some fun here. It seems my family has made a pact not to get on my nerves or something. Haha.
Best thing here is the cold and the food. God i love the food here.

Anyway i'm really starting to be a bit homesick. I'm missing my best friends like fuck seriously. Everywhere i turn something always reminds me of them.
Hmmm i'm wondering how Jan is doing in LA. I can only imagine its gorgeousness.

I'll be returning in about 2 days so it's all good. Can't wait to see them again.
Ciao

2008-12-18T03:44:00.000-08:00

Y'know what? I think I've finally let go.
Let go of these selfish, immature feelings that I've had towards everyone; towards myself; towards you.
Yeah, you. Remember? Yeah you sent my world spiralling out of control. But I'm glad to say that I think i've finally gotten control of my wheel once more. I'm starting to put back the pieces and to heal.
It's funny how they say that it's alright when you fall rock bottom for the first time. B'cos that experience has taught you how to avoid it, or how to get out unscathed the next time.
But those pple were wrong. See, once the same situation hits you in the face again, you're not prepared.
No one's there to warn you, to steer you out of danger's way. And so you fall again. And then you think, 'hey! i've been in this situation before, i know how to pick myself up agian.'
Yet you try and try and soon, you find that just b'cos you've gotten up once, doesn't mean getting up again the next time is gna be easier.
Just b'cos you've healed before, doesn't make the next healing process any easier.

I love my girls so much. It's people like them that make you wonder constantly how on earth a creature like yourself could get such great friends.
They're the kind of friends that everyone needs. B'cos I wouldn't imagine life w/o them, and i'm not exaggerating.

Thank you Kel Rens Jan Bird Sam for everything. I think if i made a list of what each of you did for me, the list would never end. Thanks for bringing me out for the Twilight movie and making me laugh and smile genuinely for the first time in a long time.
Luv you guys to bits and pieces <3 style="font-size:130%;">

Btw, Janice couldn't stop smiling whenever Edward/Rob.P came out in the movie.
I'm just sayin'. Jan babe please don't kill me! (=

2008-12-13T21:40:00.000-08:00

misconduct , misbehavior
I have no idea what's going on
I have no idea what I'm doing
But I have found a place where I can seek solace

sorry kelly sweetie , I'll see you soon
the next time I see you , I promise you'll be happier.

2008-11-26T02:17:00.000-08:00

This is how life would be without you

The alarm will sound but i'll already be up, stayed up all night just to make sure it wasn't a dream. I'll pull myself out of bed, brush my teeth and do my hair. Wonder why I'm trying to live like nothing's changed. This is just the beginning and already I want it to end.

I can't do this.
I am too tired to blog anymore
I hope things come around
Thank you everyone who is always behind me.

2008-11-23T20:24:00.000-08:00

should i stay or should i go?

Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here's not right today.
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia's all I got left
I don't know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed
But I know just what it feels like
Have a voice in the back of my head
Like a face that I hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall
(And watches everything)

So I know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me
Right beneath my skin

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

I know I've got a face in me
Points out all my mistakes to me
You've got a face on the inside too
Your paranoia's probably worse
I don't know what set me off first
But I know what I can't stand
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is
I can't add up to what you can but

Everybody has a face that they hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time they lie
A face that laughs every time they fall
(And watches everything)

I feel very detached from everything around me, like nothing really matters. Seriously. They say that it's a form of living in denial. However, I'm not so sure I agree with them. If you ask me how I feel about M'z I really can't answer that! It's like, hokay I think he's hot, but so what?? y'know. Maybe I should give up? But in that case, what am I really holding onto now? The emotion or the person? Perhaps the memories. I can't fathom it myself. K whatever, this is me taking control of my life, now what the fuck are you doing with yours?

2008-11-21T21:27:00.000-08:00

/Bring me out of this mess

There's a lot going on now in my head, its rather confusing.
- its confusion to prevent denial, it's kind of like, a forced confusion,
or I'd be sticking in denial?
I'm not sure, but I'd probably like to reflect about it anyways.
Many matters, many distractions, many thoughts to clear.
But then again,
Today, Today I live for one thing!
and We should cast all our anxieties onto him because he
cares for us :D
I don't know, I just think there's a lot more that I should be
doing, but I just can't find that motivation to do so - I'm wasting
my time. I think I could just be much better if I tried.

Nuff said - time to clear it. :D

2008-11-20T01:17:00.000-08:00

The hols, don't feel like the hols.

I'm being stealth and hiding Jim-bo.
But he's gonna go into hibernation soon anyway, so it's just a matter of time.
Oh, milestone, I got lectured in English, Chinese, Cantonese and Hokkien today.
Confusing, but a milestone.
Relatives are flying in from Edmonton so I have to have a happy face.
And an invisible homebody at the same time.
Bollocks.
'rents in the zone.
Force quitting ensues.
Goodbye world.

xoxo,
K.

2008-11-09T21:04:00.000-08:00

And if you have to go,
always know that you shine brighter
than anyone does.

Thanks Jan for this prettyyy shot of me (Yes it's me, morons!)
So anyways, Bird, Jan, Rens, Kel, and Sam all trooped over to my crib and hung out. That was a picture of my fantabulous day spent with my fav girlies. (Sam Rens Kel on the bed. Bird was in the toilet i think.

We watched some cool awesome movies, chatted to a weird perv online and laughed our heads off, took a walk at a park, etc. I'm so glad I got to spend that much time with 'em! I love 'em to bits x)

I am tired now. I just had a bad fight with my mother once again, and I am emotionally drained.
Thanks to my girls for always listening to me and being there for me.
I miss you guys already! Wish you were all at my house still x(

2008-10-31T20:45:00.000-07:00

1. How old do you wish you were?
Hmmm..good question. 16 or 18!

2.Where were you when 9/11 happened?
I don't know.

3. what do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Swear and whine and swear.

4. do you consider yourself kind?
I guess...to certain people...

5. if you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Above ass, babeh!

6. if you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Spanish or french.

7. do you know your neighbours?
Not really. I've only seen them about 3 times.

8. what do you consider a vacation?
Anywhere away from this country!

9. do you follow your horoscope?
Nah.

10. would you move for the person you love?
YES.

11. are you touchy feely?
What a strange way to phrase this question. Um yeah.

12. do you believe that opposites attract?
I guess so.

13. dream job?
Sex therapist HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

14. favourite tv channels?
E Entertainment, Star World, HBO.

15. favourite place to go on weekends?
Anywhere's fine, as long as i'm outta my house!

16. showers or baths?
I prefer baths, but I usually take showers cause I don't have a bathtub }:

17. do you paint your nails?
Yep!

18. do you trust people easily?
No.

19. what are your phobias?
Being alone.

20. do you want kids?
No! Kids are annoying and noisy! Hahahahah.

21. do you keep a handwritten journal?
I did, but I haven't updated that in...3 years hahaha.

22. where would you rather be now?
In town. I think there's an awesome sale at Charles and Keith!!

23. who makes you warm and fuzzy?
Who? Haha people I love.

24. heavy or light sleeper?
Heavy.

25. are you paranoid?
More than I would like.

26. are you impatient?
Hehe. I am quite a tolerant person. But if you make me wait for more than an hour you're dead.

27. who can you relate to?
Characters from american drama shows.

28. how do you feel about interracial couples?
They're ok.

29. have you been burned by love?
Yes.

30. what's your pick-up line?
I don't have any hahaha.

31. what's your main ringtone on your mobile?
A John Mayer song.

32. what were you doing at midnight last night?
I was on the ocm.

33. what does the last text on your mobile say?
"You ass." - Renee hahahaha

34. whose bed did you sleep in last night?
My own.

35. what colour shirt are you wearing?
Whiteee.

36. most recent movie you watched?
HSM 3 with the girls. It's.....okay.

37. name three things you have on at all times.
At all times? Er aiyah anything that's attached to your body!

38. what colour are your bedsheets?
Dark pink/purple.

39. how much cash do you have right now?
$20

40. what's your favourite part of the chicken?
Wing.

41. what's your favourite town/city?
Paris, londonnn.

42. i can't wait till:
My mom goes on her promise and gets me an iTouch phone.

43. what did you have for dinner last night?
Noodles.

44. how tall are you barefoot?
156 cm.

45. do you own a gun?
Nope!

46. what do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Um...OJ?

47. where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
Still living in my parent's house }:

48. last thing you ate?
Dinner last night, which was noodles.

49. what songs do you sing in the shower?
I don't sing.

50. last thing that made you laugh?
The last sms Rens sent me.

51. worst injury you ever had?
Broken wrist.

52. does someone have a crush on you?
HEHE well i don't know......

53. what's your favourite candy?
I like sour stuff.

54. what song do you want played at your funeral?
I'm srsly wasting my brain cells on these qns. I really don't know!

55. do you have a crush on anyone? (if no, skip qns 56.)
Does that gorgeous pretty boy count?

56. are you friends with this person?
NOOOOOO -wails-

57. are you in love?
Sigh. No...

HAPPY OR NOT KEL. HAHAH.
WASTE MY BRAIN CELLS ONLY.

2008-10-29T02:47:00.000-07:00

LIFE IS GOOD! :B

I've been soooooo free like a bird, i'm finally able to have time for all the stuff that i want to do!
Like, watch Gossip Girl. I didn't even watch a SECOND of it until my exams were over (srsly! i didn't! My mother banned me from watching...)
So...I've just watched 4 episodes STRAIGHT!
That's about 2 and a half hours of GG. I just finished watching the latest episode, and EEW? NATE MADE OUT WITH JENNY!! EEEW EEW WHY NATE WHYYYYYYYYY.
He's such a pretty boy and she's....okay looking. I hate to admit it, but her hair is HOT.

SPEAKING OF HOTNESS, I saw this reallyyyyy pretty boy at Orchard ytd! Ohmahgad, i swear my heart skipped a beat when I first saw him.
He had the most incredible eyes, and ashy brown hair. I kinda guessed that he was half causasian, half chinese. (the very best kind, if you ask me!!!)

We totally locked eyes! I swear it! I bet my heart stopped for half a nano second.
Heehee (=
What a shame, though. Didn't have the courage to ask for his number.
)= HE WAS SOOOOOOOOO PRETTYYYYYY.

Anw, i'm sure a lot of you are wondering about my results. I did post a few...despressing/discouraging entries about my exams. Well, I did...a little worse than usual. Like i said, i screwed it up. But not as bad as I had anticipated...which is...good?
I dunno. But I decided not to think about my exams any longer. It just makes me a bit obsessive, and that isn't good for my health..

toodles! ^^v

2008-10-23T08:16:00.000-07:00

SCHOOL HAS ENDED!
I'm HAPPY AS HELLL! I feel so light-headed with joy. :}
I'll miss all of my weird ass classmates, but i'm sure we'll disturb each other during the holidays AND next year, so i'm not too sad about that.

I'M A FREE WOMAN!!!
hahaha I'll blog about something more intelligent when my thoughts are coherent okay?
So long my sticky marshmellow reader!

2008-10-19T03:01:00.001-07:00

HAHAHAHAHAH!
I laughed SUPER loudly when I saw this! Hahahaha.
P.s - For those who are staring at the picture, with drool coming out of your mouth and you're going : "HUUHHHHHHHH why is it funny...", please look at the location of A and Z on your keyboard.

TODAY'S SUNDAY! I love Sundays.
My parents are usually away for the whole day, and I get to spend time by myself, and with a few friends. x)
Hung out with Jan before she had to return home. I was damn bloody bored after that.
Oh, I saw the FRIENDSTER jan talked about and EEEEEEW?
How sad. It's MAJORLY FREAKY. Hehehe.

I WANNA TAKE A NAP! I haven't taken a nap since....beginning of the year I think? Bcos of damnit lack of time. But currently I feel v relaxed and stress-free, so i think my bed is calling me!

xoxo.

2008-10-16T04:11:00.000-07:00

This will soon be my blog song.
It's called We are Broken - Paramore.
I really love their songs; their lyrics have so much meaning. :)

I am outside
And I've been waiting for the sun
With my wide eyes
I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this

Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me

Yeah
'Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And oh, the promise we adored
Give us life again
'Cause we just wanna be whole

Lock the doors
Cause I'd like to capture this voice
It came to me tonight
So everyone will have a choice
And under red lights
I'll show myself it wasn't forged
We're at war
We live like this

Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me

'Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And oh, the promise we adored
Give us life again
'Cause we just wanna be whole

Tower over me
Tower over me

And I'll take the truth at any cost

'Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And oh, the promise we adored
Give us life again
'Cause we just wanna be whole

Sry luh, Kel.
I'll do the quiz another time ok, i damn lazy now haha.

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer.

2008-10-12T01:19:00.000-07:00

My exams are over.
Whoopdeedoo.
I probably fucked them up, so there's no need to talk about it.

There's currently so many things on my mind lately.
So much shit, that I don't think i have the capability to sort them out.
I'm wondering how a normal 15 year old would be able to cope with all this.

I took a midnight walk the other day, as I do so often,
and I thought about all the things that made me truly happy, ~~just to avoid thinking about the mess that's in my life.~~
And one of the things that make me truly happy is love.
I love the feeling of love.

Love from my family and close friends.

The poeple that matter the most to me.
People I would glady trade my life for.
I wondered how they were still able to love a mess like me.
I don't deserve such love. When they are so many others who would kill to have it.

Of course, after thinking about that, I was then unable to prevent myself from thinking about my real problems.
I thought about my current situation, and wondered if i'd ever be able to get out of this shit hole that i'm in.

Why does it hurt to love?
How is it that you could hurt the one you love?
Because to me, when I love someone, i would kill myself for him/her, period.
So that means you never loved me from the beginning, did you?

I feel like some hollow shell.
No more emotions, no more feelings..
Do you know I put up a normal front just for you?
To paste a nonchalent and happy face to benefit you, and I guess myself as well.
I have to put up a strong front; I can't be a weak emotional burden. I've burdened enough people already.
I have to be strong for myself. I can't lose myself; lose control.

I really thought that things would be fine.
I tried to tell myself so much that everything would be alright, and I guess I fooled myself too much.
I have to stop lying to everyone, to you, to myself.

My entire life, people have said that i would become a psychopath if i didn't learn how to feel,
but i want to know what the fuck is so great about feeling?
because i finally let myself,
and i feel like my heart's been completely ripped out.

Sad thing is, I'd still die for you.

2008-09-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

WELL

I'M SORRY I CAN'T BE A FORGIVING BITCH. I'm sorry I can't move on because I am such a pathetic loser. I'm sorry I can't do this. I'm sorry I kept saying I could BECAUSE I HAD TO FUCKING FOOL MYSELF BEFORE I COULD FOOL ANYONE ELSE. I'm sorry I don't have the strength to watch this happen to myself. I'm sorry my life's been so miserable before and this is just adding salt to the wound. I'm sorry I wanna do this alone because I don't want you.

I'M SORRY I AM SO FUCKING SENSITIVE I'M SORRY I ACT LIKE I CAN HANDLE THIS WHEN I CAN'T I'M SORRY I'M SO FUCKING FAKE I'M SORRY I MAKE THINGS TO DIFFICULT WHEN I TRY TO MAKE IT EASIER I'M SORRY I CAN'T LEAVE EVERYONE ALONE I'M SORRY I CRY MYSELF EVERY FUCKING NIGHT TO SLEEP I'M SORRY I CAN'T JUST SHUT UP AND KILL MYSELF.

I'M SORRY THAT I'M SUCH A PATHETIC LOSER TO BE STILL AWAKE AT 12 AM CRYING MY EYES OUT. I'M SORRY THAT I'M CURRENTLY WISHING FOR ALL THE GUTS IN THE WORLD TO JUMP OUT OF MY 10TH STORY WINDOW. I'M SORRY THAT I'M JUST FULL OF FUCKING SELF-PITY THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET RID OFF. I'M SORRY I WAS SUCH A THORN IN YOUR SIDE, I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON.

I'M SORRY TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO LOVE ME FOR GOD-KNOWS-WHY FOR BEING SUCH AN EMOTIONAL BURDEN.

I'M SORRY THAT THINGS COULDN'T WORK OUT EVEN THOUGH I TRIED TO FOOL MYSELF INTO BELIEVING THAT THEY COULD. I'M SORRY FOR BEING SO USELESS AS I WATCHED EVERYTHING WE'VE BUILT TOGETHER FALL APART.

I'M SORRY I DON'T SHARE THINGS BECAUSE I CAN'T EASILY TRUST PEOPLE ANYMORE I'M SORRY I'M SO DIFFICULT TO GET TO I'M SORRY I CAN'T GET BY JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE CAME MY WAY I'M SORRY I WON'T LET YOU IN I'M SORRY THINGS HAVE CHANGED

I'M FUCKING SORRY THAT I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

OK NOW FUCK LIFE

2008-09-18T00:49:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know I've been blogging way too much, especially since I have exams coming in October.
BUT! I felt the sudden need to tell EVERYONE I truly truly love a few things.
I felt that I really needed to let them know what I have to say.

And I know it's real weird to say these important things here, where it may seem impersonal.
But I know that I would have a hard time trying to get my words right if i say it to you in person, so, here it goes.

(WARNING! SUPERRRRR LONG ENTRY AHEAD! you've been warned!)

To my older sister, Kim:

I know you're probably going to be surprised at what I have to say, since all we ever seem to do is fight. But you must know that, though all the shit we do to each other, or the bitching and name-calling, I really do love you so very much, though I don't show it AT ALL.
Please forgive me for all the times I said I hated you and you were the worst person to be related with, anger does do silly things to my brain.
I hope you know that I never mean whatever I say to you, and on the contrary, you are the BEST sister in the world.
You're always there when I'm in trouble, when I need a cigarette or when I need a shopping date. I probably don't deserve a sis like you. I LOVE YOU <3

To Bird:

Hey there yellow munchkin! I have no idea why we call you a munchkin, since you're like taller than all of us =(
Anyway, a huge THANK YOU for being someone whom I can always laugh and spaz with. You always knew how to make me laugh, and how not to disturb me when I just wanna be alone.

You're like a big brother to me, though you're a girl, which makes it even better (=
Thank you for always looking out for me, for being protective over me even when I sometimes disapprove of the things you do. Haha =)
I want to thank you for all the things that you do for me, I know I probably don't deserve them. . If I could, I would take every hurt you'd had to endure and bring it upon myself. I love you sooooo much, bird. Very, very much.

To Jan:

Hey lover. You have no idea how lucky for a gal like me to have a friend like you. And I want to hurt myself every day when I see you cry or hurt or upset. You have done SO MUCH for me, and I wish I could somehow repay you back.
You love me even when I do SUPER unforgivable shit. You never critisized or judged me when I told you all the horrible things that I had done.
You were willing to stand through the storm with me. You never fail to make me smile and laugh, even when I'm depressed.
Your love, care, affection, and devotion will never cease to amaze me, and I want to thank you for that.

I rlly wanna punch all those bitches in your class that hurt you, you have NO IDEA how much I wanna do that. I wanna go up in their face and make them suffer.
They dont' even have a clue about the person you are.
You're so amazing, and you don't deserve anything but the best in life.
You shldn't have FUCKERS for classmates, you shldn't even have ANY reason to look down on yourself!
I wish that I could make every hurt go away, to give you a hug right there in your class when no one's with you.
I love you so much, J. Can you understand that? I'd go to the ends of the earth for you.

To Rens:

Hey darling, my super cool hottie! I feel like giving you an endless amount of kisses! <3
Thank you for showing how much you love me every single day, especially the days where I'm a moody bitch.
Thank you for all the times you were there when I needed someone to talk to, to rant to...
Thank you for accepting me for who I am, and for making me feel like I didn't need to be anyone else other than myself. You made me feel so special every single day.

I rlly want slice that guy's dick into pieces. He shld be sent to the darkest corners of HELL for treating you like that. I get so pissed whenever I think about him, and I feel driven to go to his house and beat the shit out of him.
You deserve so much better, my love. Someone like you should be treated with love and respect, and you shldn't waste yr time with a jerk as him.
You're so incredible, I don't know if anyone could ever be good enough for you.
I fucking love you, y'know? I'd do anything for you.

To Kelly:

MY LOVELIEST TWIN! Where do I start?
Thanks soooooo much for the being the sweetest, awesome-nest twin ever! You're soo fun to hang out with, just seeing you makes my day! I love being super girly and bimbo with you.
And, I love it how you're always able to know how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. I love how you always try to persuade me to look at the brighter side of life, and how you're always there to give me a hug when I'm down.
I love how you're always so understanding and accepting, never judging me for my unruly ways.

I love how you love, most of all.
And I wish your parents could see the Kel that I see every single day.
They shld know how BLOODY FORTUNATE they are to have a daughter like you, and I wish I could just open their eyes and make them see.
You're so unbelievably incredible! I love you soooooo much, love. I'd kill myself for you.

To Sam:

Hey SAMMIEH! Y'know, you've always been that sorta-quiet friend, though you're not really quiet in actual fact.
Thank you for being my mentor, my teacher, someone I truly aspire to be. I love how you're able to calmly take fucked-up matters into your own hands and fix them with no distractions. I love how you're always so sensitive to me, kinda like a boyfriend ;)

I feel so damn lucky to have someone as special as you. You're always sooooo fucking sweet to me, and you still are. I love how you forgive so easily, even when I sometimes don't agree with forgiving some people who hurt you so bad.
I love how you're always cracking lame jokes that send me into hysterics.
I love how your temper can match mine, even though it's rare. Maybe that's not a good thing, but you always somehow made me feel normal, like I'm not over-reacting.

I love you damn fucking much. Always and forever =)

Well, that's all that I wanted to say.
Thank you once again to everyone, who has done sooo many wonderful things to me that it may take CENTURIES to write.
I rlly appreciate all of you.

Xoxo,
Kriss.

2008-09-17T22:12:00.000-07:00

1.The person who tagged you is?
JANNIICCEEE!! ;D

2.Your relationship with him/her?
SHE'S MY LOVERRRR!

3.Your 5 impressions of him/her are:
Loving, affectionate, understanding, fun, AWESOME!

4.The most memorable thing he/she had done for you.
She brought me soup to my house yesterday cause' I was sick!
SUCH A SWEET THING I TELL YOU! ;D

5.The most memorable thing he/she had said to you?
I can't rmb each word but she told me that she loved me and that she always would, no matter what unforgivable shit i do. -cries-

6.If he/she becomes your lover, you will?
I will be very fortunate to have someone like her! (:

7.If he/she becomes your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be?
She spoils me too much, I think.

8.If he/she become your enemy, you will?
THAT WILL NEVER EVER HAPPEN AND I REFUSE TO THINK ABOUT SUCH THINGS! GO AWAY.

9. (Repeated Question)

10.What is it you want to tell for him/her now?
I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU sooo very much. And I wish that you wouldn't look down on yourself, because you don't know how amazing you are =)

11.Your overall impression of him/her is?
Wonderful.

12.How do u think ppl will feel around you?
Haha, I hope they would think I'm the baddest girl around.

13.The characters you love of yourself are?
I'm comfortable in my own skin, I don't wish to be anyone else.

14.On the contrary,the characters you hate yourself are?
UGH, too many.

15.The most ideal person you want to be is?
me =)

16.For people that care and likes you, say something to them.
i love you guys too!

17.Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you.

1) Kelly!
2) Bird!
3) Rens!
4) Sam
5) Vivien
6) June
7) Marcus!
8) Daryl
9) Li yuan
10) Rachel

18. Who is no. 6 having a relationship with? -June
Someone I cannot mention! ;)

19. Is no. 9 a male or female? -Li yuan
Female!

20. If no. 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing? [Marcus and Rachel]
That will be quite disturbing! But I guess I would be able to get used to it...eventually..

21. What is no. 6 studying about? -June
The subjects that a smarty pants like her would study.

22. What was the last time you had a chat with no. 3? -Rens
This morning!

23. What kind of music band does no. 8 like? -Daryl
Guns n' Roses, Coldplay, U2.

24. Does no. 1 have any siblings? -Kelly
Yes, a younger sister!

25. Will you woo no. 3? -Rens
Of course!

26. How about 7? -Marcus
NO! HE'LL JUST FREAK OUT I SWEAR!

27. Is no. 4 single? -Sam
Nooooope =)

28. What is the surname of no. 5? -Viven
Choo!

29. What is a hobby of no. 10? -Rachel
Reading, she's a bookworm!

30. Do no. 5 and 9 get along well? -Viven and Li yuan.
They've never met.

31. Where is no. 2 studying at? -Bird
Home schooled. (COOLEST THING EVER!!!)

32. Talk about something for no. 1 -Bird
She loves freaking people out. And wooing hot gals.

33. Have you tried developing feelings for no. 8? -Daryl
WHY IS IT ALWAYS DARYL HAHA. Noooooo!

34. Where does no. 9 live? -Li yuan
Bishan.

35. What colours do no. 4 like? (Sam)
White, orange, red.

36. Are no. 1 and 5 best friends? -Kelly and Vivien.
Nah, they don't know each other.

37. Does no. 1 have any pets? -Bird
Fishies.

38. Is no. 7 the sexiest person in the world? -Marcus
HAHAHAH X 59394968 well, that is an interesting question! Are you, Marc?

39. What is no. 10 doing now? -Rachel
I dunno, reading?

-END-

And my god, my mom can be annoying!
When she looked over at my laptop I instinctively turned it away.
I mean, it's not that I have anything to hide, it's just weird for your mom to see you blogging, right?

Then she was like, "Why are you turning the screen away?"
And she asked it as if i was trying to hide smth from her.
Whatever la srsly.

Ok, I'm done!
NIGHT WWB! =)

2008-09-17T09:41:00.000-07:00

I NOW HAVE BANGS! :B

This is Vivien and I.
Hehe :}

I'm srsly missing the girlies!
Everyone's been super busy with studies lately. :{
Saddddd. Exams really suck big time!

I just got a message from Jan, and she didn't go to school today too!
Hehe so I'm gna drop by her house later to hang out and maybe study a lil'.
xD i miss her so much :}

Oh, there's smth that's been bugging me like fuck lately.
Have I mentioned my intense hatred for attention whores?
Yea, they're the most annoying creatures on earth.
This gal, let's just call her D, loves the spotlight.
Always doing ANYTHING for attention, even degrade herself!

I mean, c'mon, why would you wanna degrade yrself just for attention?
She doesn't even think about what people may think of her.
I bet she just goes into uncontrollable spasms if the spotlight isn't on her.
I wonder if she knows that no one likes her.

OOOOOOOOH!
Check out this hottie :

ASHTON KUTCHER IS SOOOO HOT!
God.
D'you know he used to be a model?
Hotness!

Just call me Mrs Kutcher, ya'll! :}

You're the missing piece I need,
the song inside of me.

2008-09-08T20:17:00.000-07:00

YAYYYYYYYYYYY ;D

OMG OMG OMGGGGGG!
I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT MY MOM SAID TO ME!
Check out the convo that tooks place a few minutes ago.

Mom: "Hmmmm, I think I will give you a reward."

Me: "Huh? Reward for what?"

Mom: "Reward for if you do well in your exams!"

Me: "Ooooh! What kind of reward?"

Mom: "I'll think I'll get you that iTouch phone..."

OMG YAYNESS!!!
Hahaha I'm actually squealing right now! Hehe.
But my mommy's expectations are damn high!

Me: "-after i was done squealing- Eh, how well must I do?"

Mom: "Hmm... depends. I'll decide when I see it."

Me: "But I must have some personal goal what!"

Mom: "Then just get an A2 for most or all the subjects, lor! That's the safest.-chuckles-"

WHATTT A2 FOR ALL SUBJECTS???!!
I CAN BEARLY MANAGE A STANDARD B3!
Okay, I MUST MUST MUST do well!
I am sooo close to having the FABULOUS iTouch phoneeee!
Hehehe ;D

2008-09-02T20:38:00.001-07:00

I AM NOW ADDICTED TO TWILIGHT.

thanks a lot ah, Renee and Jan!
Now i can't stop reading it!
Damnit, the attraction between Edward and Bella is sooo breathtaking.

And what Jan said was right!
After reading the book, girls like me can't help but long for someone beautiful like Edward.

By the way, the actor playing Edward is HAWT!
I actually did a bit of research on the casting, when news about a Twilight Movie first came out.
Apparently, there were some who said the world was "outraged" by the casting of Edward!
C'mon, he's sooooooooo good-looking!
I'm sure at least 75% of Twilighters love the guy playing Edward.
Handsome, sia! ^^

SO SEXY!!

The movie has made me even MORE addicted.
AND BELLA IS....SO AVERAGE LOOKING!
So unfair! :*(

Oh, apparently Jan has called dibs on him already,
so I cannot claim him for my own!
Darn it.

2008-08-25T09:05:00.000-07:00

Y'know what?
Fuck you.
Fuck you and your kind.

------------------------

Didn't go to school today.
And,
Can I just say...
that studies and school and everything academic is fucking stressful?
I feel so exhausted from it all.
My exams are coming up soon, and I'm doing my best to prepare,
but I'm starting to think that none of my efforts are working!

Then I have thoughts about quitting school, like Shane.
At first, people looked at her in disapproval and shook their heads and wagged their fingers,
but look at her now!
She's got an awesome job that pays well, and she's totally stress-free!

Why are people so judgemental?
They have NO idea how stressful school life is nowadays, yet they have the nerve to give us that "oh, another teen school dropout rebel. She's gonna go nowhere in life." fuck face.

How I wish I could handle the stress well like the girlies.
Sigh.
I really miss 'em.
Can I please see you guys again? :(

------------------------

OH MY GOD!
HAHAHA!
I just ordered Macs delivery, and when the guy came, I answered the door in my shirt and undies!
The guy kinda got a shock hahaha.
That just totally made my day, seeing the look on his face!

Well, i ain't the grp slut for nothin'!
And i'm proud of it! :) :) :)

2008-08-17T04:39:00.001-07:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY KELLY!
Glad you liked the surprise!
I LOVE YOU SOOOOO SUPER MUCH!

Rawr, I need to get laid.
Like, srsly.

And i wanna see the girlies again!
The time we had was far too short. ]:

Oh, and to my LOVE, Janice,
I just rlly wna thank you for everything.
You mean the world to me, y'know?
I'd do anything for you.

xoxo,
Kriss.

2008-08-15T06:24:00.001-07:00

"It's the afterwards. I feel so safe in your arms. It's not the sex, its not. Its the afterwards. What about you? Do you feel safe the way I do?

"No, I feel safe all the time. All the time when I'm with you."

sighhhh I hate the way I spew my words without second thoughts and thus hurting the one I love the most. I love you baby, never ever doubt that. Ever.

Oh my fucking god, i just lost all my past entries.
All 14 of them!
Damn this stupid piece of shit.